GET THE ANSWERS…

1. Follow these steps and see if you can figure this out.

1) Get a brown, cardboard box.
2) Get purple, orange, and turquoise paints.
3) Paint the box orange.
4) Paint on purple spots.
5) Paint on turquoise stripes.
7) Turn it upside down.
Lie on your side.

What is missing from this sequence?

2. What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat?

3. In a country, there are over 100 streets. Street 1 is named First Street, street 2 is named Second Street, and so on and so forth.

A traveller decides to walk through all these streets in the country. He could find all the streets except Street 62. No matter how hard he tried, he could not find it.

He later found that the locals had given the street another name.

What is the name?

Scroll Down for answers..

.

.

.

1. Step 6 is missing.

2. CHICAGO

3/7 of Chicken is Chi

2/3 of Cat is Ca

2/4 of Goat is Go

3. Minute street. Sixty Second street = minute street

How Safe Is Your Brain??

Sit comfortably and be calm.

This is a serious test, not a joke..

Put your thinking process aside -

i.e. put your brain in neutral gear.

1- Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
6999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3- Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist. Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.

Congratulations!

BRAIN TEASERS

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack(you should know that!)

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built(think ahead).

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. He sleeps at night.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. Wet.

Q. What looks like half an apple ?
A : The other half.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.

Q. What gets wet with drying ?
A : A towel.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish ?
A : Because it has its own scales.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid

Q: Chintu's mom has three sons. What is the name of the other two?
A:Chin-1 & Chin-3

Jokes of Mr. Bean

1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.

6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!

Never argue with a child

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

* * *

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."

* * *

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet aren't empty."

* * *

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all You want. God is watching the apples!"

* * *

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

* * *

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

* * *

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

* * *

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..."

"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too!

The Mommy Test

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter, she picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth, I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because it's been laying outside and it is dirty and probably has germs."

At this point, she looked at me with tot admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "All moms knows this stuff. Um, it's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "I get it!" she beamed "Then if you flunk, you have to be the Dad!"

How children drive their teacher crazy?

Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon
Student: The brain is a wonder full thing

Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!

Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!

TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.

TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !

TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !

TEACHER : What shape is the world in?
Pupil : Rotten !

TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !

TEACHER :What's you name ?
Class : Ravi

TEACHER : You should say "Sir"
Pupil : OK, Sir Ravi !

TEACHER : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil : Life imprisonment !

TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Pupil : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !

SARDARJI'S JOKES

Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

* * *

Sardarji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs up.

* * *

Sardarji is filling up a job application.
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED.
After much thought he writes: Yes.

* * *

Sardarji proposes to a woman.
She says yes, if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs, angrily exclaims:
"71st and *again* barefoot!"

* * *

Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

* * *

What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

* * *

What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

* * *

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

* * *

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

* * *

What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

* * *

What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

* * *

How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
* * * * *
What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his ears?
He was trying to hold on to a thought.

* * *

Why does Sardarji work seven days a week?
So you don't have to retrain him on Monday.

* * *

Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes?
He always forget the recipe.

* * *

How did Sardarji try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

* * *

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

* * *

Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot.

* * *

Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

* * *

How can you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

* * *

Why can't Sardarji dial 911?
He can't find the 11 on the dial.

* * *

"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?

* * *

What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * *

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

* * *

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kms a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kgs. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor on phone to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.

"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."

* * *

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are at a railway station.
Hari asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the clerk.
"Can I?" asks Gani.

* * *

Sardarji is travelling by train.
He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 20
rupees to wake him up when his station comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more.
So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard.
When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home.
Reaching home, he goes to wash his face & suddenly screams when he sees the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes up someone else!"

* * *

Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down to his knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked,
"Your donkey is missing. What are you thanking God for?"
Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

* * *

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate.
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

* * *

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!" "Woof!" (barking sound )
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs
and don't touch anything!"

* * *

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared.
Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.
On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool.
This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

* * *

Santa and Banta Singhs landed up in Bombay and got into a double-decker bus.
Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat in the bus.
Unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
When the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to look up Banta, found Banta in badly scared, clutching the seats in front with both hands.
Santa asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there?
Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but you've got a *driver*."

* * *

Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears.
"I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang.
Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But...what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called again."

SARDARJI'S JOKES

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok

Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan

Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down

Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad

Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat

Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat

Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in

Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me

Interviewer : ....!!!!!!!

7 letters …nice one

7 letters….enjoy

Eighty percent of Kindergartners solved this riddle,
but only 5% of Stanford graduates figured it out!

Can you answer the following question?

1. The word has seven letters…
2. Preceded God…
3. Greater than God…
4. More Evil than the devil…
5. All poor people have it…
6. Wealthy people need it…
7. If you eat it, you will die! Did you figure it
out?

Try hard before looking at the answers Did you get it
yet??

..Give up?

Brace yourself for the answer….

The Answer is: NOTHING!

NOTHING has 7 letters

NOTHING preceded God

NOTHING is greater than God

NOTHING is more Evil than the devil

All poor people have NOTHING

Wealthy people need NOTHING

If you eat NOTHING, you will die

stunning answers

No matter how far our exams are dumbed down, it seems it's not far enough for today's pupils.

But rather than admit defeat in the face of tricky questions, some decide to take a more creative approach to their answers.
After scouring exam papers and speaking to teachers, humorist Richard Benson has collected the worst student howlers in a new book.
You won't know whether to laugh - or cry.