SARDARJI'S JOKES

Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

* * *

Sardarji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs up.

* * *

Sardarji is filling up a job application.
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED.
After much thought he writes: Yes.

* * *

Sardarji proposes to a woman.
She says yes, if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs, angrily exclaims:
"71st and *again* barefoot!"

* * *

Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

* * *

What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

* * *

What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

* * *

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

* * *

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

* * *

What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

* * *

What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

* * *

How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
* * * * *
What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his ears?
He was trying to hold on to a thought.

* * *

Why does Sardarji work seven days a week?
So you don't have to retrain him on Monday.

* * *

Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes?
He always forget the recipe.

* * *

How did Sardarji try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

* * *

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

* * *

Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot.

* * *

Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

* * *

How can you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

* * *

Why can't Sardarji dial 911?
He can't find the 11 on the dial.

* * *

"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?

* * *

What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * *

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

* * *

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kms a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kgs. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor on phone to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.

"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."

* * *

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are at a railway station.
Hari asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the clerk.
"Can I?" asks Gani.

* * *

Sardarji is travelling by train.
He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 20
rupees to wake him up when his station comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more.
So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard.
When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home.
Reaching home, he goes to wash his face & suddenly screams when he sees the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes up someone else!"

* * *

Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down to his knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked,
"Your donkey is missing. What are you thanking God for?"
Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

* * *

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate.
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

* * *

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!" "Woof!" (barking sound )
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs
and don't touch anything!"

* * *

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared.
Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.
On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool.
This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

* * *

Santa and Banta Singhs landed up in Bombay and got into a double-decker bus.
Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat in the bus.
Unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
When the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to look up Banta, found Banta in badly scared, clutching the seats in front with both hands.
Santa asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there?
Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but you've got a *driver*."

* * *

Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears.
"I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang.
Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But...what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called again."