Enzooy dis fun stuff.

Bill Gates announces that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Telangana. Here are some Windows related terms that are proposed to be used in the Telangana version of "kitkeel rendvel కిట్కీల్ రెండ్వేల్" (Windows2000):
Just read and enjoy these core telangana words.This will change your mood.
(courtesy of -my nephew Kondal)

KEYWORDS
Microsoft windows 2000=ginta anta metha kitkeel rendvel(గింత అంత మెత్త కిట్కీల్ రెండ్వేల్)

search = dhevulaadu(దెవులాడు)

Save = bachaaiMchu (బచాఇంచు )

Save as = gitla bachaaiMchu (గిట్ల బచాఇంచు)

Save All = anni bachaaiMchu (అన్ని బచాఇంచు )

Help=nannu bachaaiMchu (నన్ను బచాఇంచు )

Find=ethku (ఎత్కు)

Find Again=malla ethku (మల్ల ఎత్కు )

Move=sarkaaiMchu (సర్కాఇంచు )

Zoom=pedhdhagachai ( పెద్దగచై )

Zoom Out=chinnagachai (చిన్నగచై )

Open=thervu (తెర్వు)

Close=muyyi (ముయ్యి )

New=koththadhi (కొత్తది )

Old=paathadhi (పాతది)

Replace=maarcheyyi (మార్చెయ్యి )

Insert= nadimitla pettu (నడిమిట్ల పెట్టు )

space=jaaga (జాగ )

Backspace=enka jaaga (ఎన్క జాగ )

Run=vurku (వుర్కు )

Print=achchu (అచ్చు)

Print Preview=choosi achcheyyi(చూసి అచ్చెయ్యి)

Copy=gatlane dhiMchu (గట్లనె దించు)

Cut=koy (కొయ్)

Paste=athki (అత్కి )

Paste Special=speshal athki (స్పెశల్ అత్కి )

Delete=theesi padey (తీసిపడెయ్ ) /"bondala vettu" (బొందల వెట్టు)(with thanks to 'Trivikram')

View=soodu (సూడు )

Tools=mutlu (ముట్లు)

Toolbar=mutla gottaM (ముట్ల గొట్టం )

Exit=igavOri (ఇగవోరి )

Compress=guMju (గుంజు )

mouse=elka (ఎల్క)

click=voththu (వొత్తు)

Double Click=malla malla voththu (మల్ల మల్ల వొత్తు )

Forward=eedakelli aadki (ఈడకెల్లి ఆడ్కి )

Scrollbar=thippudu gottaM (తిప్పుడు గొట్టం)

Errors=nee nOtla mannu vada (నీ నోట్ల మన్ను వడ )

Double Click with the left mouse button= elka chevvu voka mali
edama dhikku malla malla voththaale (ఎల్క చెవ్వు వొక మలి ఎడమ దిక్కు మల్ల మల్ల వొత్తాలె)

'This program has performed an illegal operation
*"Abort, Retry or Ignore" ? " ==== ee kaaryaM dhoMgalekkaku vaththiMdhi,jaldhi vurku,
lEkuMte malla kottu lEka marsipO (ఈ కార్యం దొంగలెక్కకు వత్తింది,జల్ది వుర్కు,లేకుంటె మల్ల కొట్టు లేక మర్సిపో )

ACCESS =dhorkavattu (దొర్కవట్టు )

ACCESS DENIED =dhorkavattaneeya (దొర్కవట్టనీయ)

Home=iMtiki vO (ఇంటికి వో)

end=konaaki (కొనాకి )

jokes

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it. 
Banta: Is this dog faithful ? 
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

***********

My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally. Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem. 
"No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."

***************

Haryanvi bought a car on loan from a bank. He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car. Funny Haryanvi: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

***************

Pakistani: When a man died, we processed the claim and delivered the check within 24 hours. Indian: When a man died, we delivered a check the same evening. 
American: That’s nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of the WTC building. A man was working on the 50th floor. He slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor.

**************

An Indian Sardar ji & a Pakistani were in Titanic. Titanic was sinking.
Pakistani: How much the earth is far from here? 
Indian Sardar Ji: 2 kilo meter. 
The Pakistani jumped into the sea and asked again: ...to which direction? 
Indian Sardar Ji: Downwards. 

*************

Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married. 
Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage? 
Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th.

*************

SANTA : Mere padosi ka baccha gum ho gaya 
BANTA: Phir tune kya kiya 
SANTA : Maine kaha ki GOOGLE pe search kar le mil gaya to download kar lena

Stupid & Funny Conversations in Courtrooms (Real)

Stupid & Funny Conversations in Courtrooms (Real)

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of keeping a straight face while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year- old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: ?
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh…. I was gettin’ laid!
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you shitin’ me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh….are you qualified to ask that question?
——————————————————–

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

And then the fight started ...

Here is a good one from my mailbox ...

--------------------------------------

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

So, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Naaah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

A woman is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'

And then the fight started ...

--------------------------------------

Hope you had a nice laugh :-)

Top 10 Most Expensive Mobile Phones in the World

Top 10 Most Expensive Mobile Phones in the World

Until recently, the vast majority of mobile phones had been priced between £100 and £300, with only Vertu, a division ofNokia , manufacturing uber-premium phones. With prices starting at around £4,000 Vertu phones are only for the filthy rich, and the super famous. 

However, Vertu's monopoly of the luxury phone market is coming to an end with the launch of several new luxury mobile makers, including Gresso, Mobiado and GoldVish. Other mobile phone manufacturers are also partnering with luxury brands to produce a range of premium mobile phones, such as LG and Prada , D&G and Motorola, and now Tag Heuer and Modelabs. Finally, there are the ridiculous, super-expensive one-offs, made purely for headline grabbing, such as Goldvish's "Le million", worth a cool $1,000,000, see below for details!

1. Goldvish "Le million" = $1,000,000 (£540,540)

A PR stunt it may be, and they surely can't be expecting to sell any, but the Goldvish "Le million" is officially the most expensive mobile phone in the world, according the Guiness Books of Records. There's even been talk of a $1.3million phone, but this has fewer diamonds than the Goldvish so I can't see where the extra expense comes from! The "Le million" is a one off, featuring a blinding 120 carats worth of VVS-1 grade diamonds, according to designer Emmanuel Gueit. If $1 million is out of your price range. The Geneva-based Goldvish also offer several other diamond-encrusted 18k gold models in your choice of rose, yellow, or white, starting at a much more reasonable $25,600 (£13,837). 

2. Vertu Signature Cobra = $310,000 (£167,567)

Vertu is now taking orders for the Signature Cobra, designed by French jeweler Boucheron, but you had better be quick as only 8 are being made! The Cobra will feature one pear-cut diamond, one round white diamond, two emerald eyes and 439 rubies. Vertu will also be offering a "cheaper" version, ruby free, at $115,000 (£62,162). 

3. Sony Ericsson Black Diamond = $300,000 (£162,162)

Apparently the Black Diamond will be available in 2007, not from Sony Ericsson but by a company called VIPN. Initially only 5 unique numered pieces will be available for the unbelievable price of, wait for it... $300,000. 

With regards to the specifications, don't expect anything remarkable for your money. It will have Quad-band with Wi-If, an Intel 400Mhz processor running windows mobile 5, and a touch sensitive 2? Screen. It will also include internal memory of 128mb and will come with a 2Gb SD card for external storage, plus a respectable 4 Megapixel camera. 

The designer Jaren Goh has used some pretty impressive materials for the build, featuring titane with polycarbonate , mirror-finish cladding and diamonds. 

4. Vertu Diamond = $88,000 (£47,567)

The Diamond is Vertu's premium range of high-end mobile phones. As the name suggests the handsets in the Diamond range are diamond-encrusted handsets made from platinum. Only 200 of the handsets are being produced, the most expensive believed to be worth an estimated £50,000. 

5. Motorola V220 Special Edition = £28,000 ($51,800) 

Austrian designer Peter Aloisson, has taken a standard Motorola, studded it with 1,200 diamonds and added a keyboard inlaid with 18 carat gold. The outcome is a £28,000 handset, suitable only for footballers and film stars! 

6. Gold Edition Nokia 8800 Phone = $2,700 (£1,459) 

If you have $2,700 to spare, you can now buy the Nokia 8800 in 24K gold. However, be warned, if you think you'll be getting a better phone for your extra cash, you wont! The features found on the Gold Edition are the standard 8800 features, which are pretty basic. It includes a 0.5 Mega pixel SVGA camera, 64 MB of internal memory, 64 voice polyphonic rigntones, FM Radio, Mp3 Player, video recording and 180 mins talktime. However, the Gold Edition does includes a special edition box and charging dock! 

7. Mobiado Professional EM (wood) = $1,900 (£1,027) 

The Mobiado Professional EM, is a wood-clad upgrade of their earlier Nokia-based phone that includes a 1.3 megapixel camera, music player, FM radio, Bluetooth, and according to Mobiado it's the first production phone with Titanium buttons. Only 200 are being made and each one has its limited number engraved on the back. At $1,900 however, you're still paying an awfully high premium for a fairly basic phone encased in wood! 

8. Bang & Olufsen (Samsung) Serene = $1,250 (£675) 

Bang & Olufsen hooked up with Samsung to design the sleek but unconventional Serene. Its not a bad looking phone and it even has a built-in motor to assist you in opening and closing the phone. It's not very practical however, requiring a special screwdriver to access the battery and the SIM card, and its circular keypad will take some getting used to. Also, for some strange reason they have positioned the camera lens on the side of the device, which will make it difficult to align snapshots via the viewfinder on the display. 

9. Lamborghini 8800 Sirocco from Nokia = $To be announced 

The Lamborghini Nokia 8800 Sirocco is another special edition, like the previously launch Aston Martin branded Sirocco. It will ultimately be a standard 8800 Sirocco but with the addition of the famous Lamborghini logo engraved on the font and the back, plus ball bearings from the auto company to in the slider phone mechanism. The Lamborghini phone will be a limited edition with only 500 being made. It will also feature Lamborghini graphics as wallpapers, screensavers, ringtones, and even has a short documentary video about the Lamborghini. 


10. Gresso Luxury Phone = £expensive 

The Russia based Gresso, is a new entry into the luxury phone market. Their aptly name "Gresso Luxury Phone" is made of gold and African Blackwood. Apparently they will be releasing a collection of five models called the Black Aura collection, and the designer is a "well known" Italian designer. Currently there are two versions of the African Blackwood phone, one with pink gold highlights named the Gresso Blackwood Gold Edition, and one made entirely of African Blackwood. In addition to the two African Blackwood phones Gresso also make a phone made entirely of pink gold named the Gresso Gold phone. Initially, the phones will be on sale only in Russia . 

Do You Know?

Do you know what is family?
Do you really understand what is behind the word family?

It gives me a shock when I know the answer.

So long I never realize I don't know the real

Meaning of family..........

Here Is The Answer .......... FAMILY =




(F)ather

(A)nd

(M)other

(I)

(L)ove

(Y)ou



WHY does a man want to have a WIFE? Because:

(W)ashing

(I)roning

(F)ood

(E)ntertainment



WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?

because:

(H)ousing

(U)nderstanding

(S)haring

(B)uying

(A)nd

(N)ever

(D)emanding


Do you know that a simple "HELLO" can be a sweet one?

Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfriend).

The word HELLO means :

(H)ow are you?

(E)verything all right?

(L)ike to hear from you

(L)ove to see you soon!

(O)bviously, I miss you ..

THIS YEAR'S "NOT MY JOB" AWARD ........................

THIS YEAR'S "NOT MY JOB" AWARD ........................

(An e-mail forward )
_________________________

World without Engineers:

Computer Engineers
Aeronautical Engineers

Electronics Engineers
Mechanical Engineers
Civil EngineersCommunication Engineers

(An e-mail forward)

Cute Animations

SEE THE FUN IN ARRANGING NAMES.................

Dilip Vengsarkar
When you rearrange the letters:
Sparkling Drive



Princess Diana
When you rearrange the letters:
End is a Car Spin



Monica Lewinsky
When you rearrange the letters:
Nice Silky Woman



Dormitory
When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room



Astronomer
When you rearrange the letters:
Moon starer



Desperation
When you rearrange the letters:
A Rope Ends It



The Eyes
When you rearrange the letters:
They See



A Decimal Point
When you rearrange the letters:
Im a Dot in Place



AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


Mother in Law
When you rearrange the letters:
Women Hitler :jumping: