jokes

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it. 
Banta: Is this dog faithful ? 
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

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My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally. Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem. 
"No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."

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Haryanvi bought a car on loan from a bank. He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car. Funny Haryanvi: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

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Pakistani: When a man died, we processed the claim and delivered the check within 24 hours. Indian: When a man died, we delivered a check the same evening. 
American: That’s nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of the WTC building. A man was working on the 50th floor. He slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor.

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An Indian Sardar ji & a Pakistani were in Titanic. Titanic was sinking.
Pakistani: How much the earth is far from here? 
Indian Sardar Ji: 2 kilo meter. 
The Pakistani jumped into the sea and asked again: ...to which direction? 
Indian Sardar Ji: Downwards. 

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Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married. 
Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage? 
Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th.

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SANTA : Mere padosi ka baccha gum ho gaya 
BANTA: Phir tune kya kiya 
SANTA : Maine kaha ki GOOGLE pe search kar le mil gaya to download kar lena