Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!   

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ******** Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Jailor: Kyon has rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hoon!  

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ******** Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.  
 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market..  

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Santa’s girfriend: Meri maa aapko bahut pasand karti hai.
Santa, after a deep thought: Kuchh bhi ho jaye, shaadi to main tujhse hi karunga! 

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ** Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.  

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use  pehchan nahin pa raha   

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.  
 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept.  

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo..   

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga…  

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa bought a car on loan… He didn’t pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I’d have taken a loan for my marriage also!  

 

The Best way to Escape from a Problem is to Solve it”

                                                          

Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants. 
Servant: It’s already raining. 
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first. 
                                                          
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it…. 

                                                          

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How’ll U divide your kids, U”VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar’s wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

                                                          

A Teacher lecturing on population:

“In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. “ 
A Sardar stands up- “We must find & stop her!. ” 

A man: “Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?”

Sardarji: ”Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM”.  
                                                          
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. 
The Chinese friend just says “CHIN YU YAN” and dies. 
Sardarji goes to China  to find the meaning of his friend’s last Words. 
And finds It means “U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!” 


Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. 
His wife asked what you are doing. 
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping. 
                                                           
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?

Guess what… 
To avoid side effects!!!

Man: Sardarji where were U born? 
Sardarji: Punjab . 
Man: Which part? 
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar”.  
                                                          

Lawyer to Sardar: “Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke…… ”
Sardar :”Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!” 

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl… He went and kissed her…. 
Girl said- “What R U doing…?” 
Sardar replied- “B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar”  
                                                           
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me. 
I don’t know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says “please recharge your card” 


A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.  Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. 
She showed him the instructions on the tin, “For Best Results put on Two Coats”  
                                                         

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,

The sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). ” 
The first sardar replies, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258″ 

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College??? 
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard… BOLO tarara!!  

                                                          
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? 
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept…….. 

Santa Singh MBBS 
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice. 
He checked his first patient’s Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. 
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

•  

ALPHABATEICAL MAN

Alphabetical man…

Five Human Wonders…truly amazing…worth seeing

THE MILLAU VIADUCT is part of the new E11 expressway connecting Paris and Barcelona and
features the highest bridge piers ever constructed. The tallest is 240 meters high and the overall height will be an impressive 336 meters, making this the highest bridge in the world.

First Air-conditioned bus station in Dubai, UAE

Toshiba Elevator and Building Systems Corp announced the installation of theworld’s fastest passenger elevator just exactly where it is needed – in Taipei 101, the world’s tallest building. The elevator runs at a top speed of 1,010 meters per minute when ascending (600 meters per minute on the way down), which works out to 60.6 kilometers per hour. The Elevator can go from the 5th floor to the 89th floor in 39 seconds.

World’s fastest elevator offers the following new technologies:
* The world’s first pressure control system, which adjusts the atmospheric pressure inside a car by using suction and discharge blowers, preventing those riding inside thecar experiencing ‘ear popping’.

World’s First All-glass Undersea Restaurant Opens

The World’s First All-glass Undersea Restaurant Opens

15 th April marks the day that the first ever all-glass undersea restaurant in the world opens its doors for business at the Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa. It will sit five meters below the waves of the Indian Ocean, surrounded by a vibrant coral reef and encased in clear acrylic offering diners 270-degrees of panoramic underwater views.

“We have used aquarium technology to put diners face-to-face with the stunning underwater environment of the Maldives”, says Carsten Schieck, General Manager of Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa. “Our guests always comment on being blown away by the colour, clarity, and beauty of the underwater world in the Maldives, so it seemed the perfect idea to build a restaurant where diners can experience fine cuisine and take time to enjoy the views – without ever getting their feet wet.”

Created by MJ Murphy Ltd, a design consultancy based in  New Zealand, Ithaa’s distinctive feature is the use of curved transparent acrylic walls and roof, similar to those used in aquarium attractions. “The fact that the entire restaurant except for the floor is made of clear acrylic makes this unique in the world,” continues Schieck, “We are currently planting a coral garden on the reef to add to the spectacular views of the rays, sharks and many colorful fish that live around the area.

Royal Look-Alikes

If someone says that you look like your grand-grand-grandfather/mother, don’t be surprised (or disappointed) – nature is miracle. Royal British family is purest example of it – if you dig a little, you can find ancestor look-alike for every member of Royal family. You can take a peek at your family album, be sure that you have some ancestor that is your (actually, you are his/her) look-alike.

Prince William

Clearly he’s no pretender to the throne: Prince William’s regal bearing can be traced back to his 14th-century ancestor King Edward I, making the 28-year-old royal even more of a shoo-in as future King of England.

Princess Beatrice

You thought that Beatrice looked like her dad – think again! It turns out that 22-year-old daughter of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson bears an uncanny resemblance to her great-great-great-great-grandmother Queen Victoria.

Prince Charles

Yes, Prince Charles is a dead ringer for Edward VII, who owned the title of Prince of Wales before ascending the throne in 1901.

Lord Freddie Windsor

He is 37th in line to the throne,so the chances that Freddie Windsor will get his crowning moment are about as bad as those of his ancestor Louis Frederick, Prince of Wales. His ancestor died at the young age of 44 with none of his political ambitions ever fulfilled.

Prince Michael of Kent

A cousin of Queen Elizabeth II and Freddie’s dad, Prince Michael of Kent has the bearing – along with the full beard! – of his granddad, King George V, who ruled the United Kingdom through the First World War until his death in 1936.

Princess Eugenie

Prince Andrew and Fergie’s younger daughter would make the late Queen Mum proud! The 21-year-old shares great-great-granny’s soulful eyes, full lips and even her face shape!

Queen Elizabeth II

Queen Elizabeth II must have been a favorite of her granny, Queen Mary. The British monarch bears a remarkable likeness to the Queen consort, who saw both her beloved son King George VI and granddaughter Elizabeth ascend the throne before her death in 1953.

Prince Harry

Guess who else bears a striking likeness to Queen Mary? Everyones favorite eligible royal bachelor Prince Harry, whose red hair and blue eyes were clearly passed down from his great-great-grandmother.

Prince Edward

Long live the king (George VI) in Prince Edward! Queen Elizabeth II’s youngest son is indeed a natty 21st-century version of his grandfather, with his thoughtful gaze and his deep-set eyes.

Lady Louise Windsor

Even at age 6 (in 2009), Prince Edward’s little girl is a mini-me of her very famous granny, Queen Elizabeth II, who was quite the cherubic 4-year-old in a photo taken in 1930.

sources:

wikipedia.org