Lots of Jokes

Joke

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book

publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

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Joke

Speeding

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped

for speeding rolled down his window.

"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I

could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid

on his way without a ticket.

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Joke

Q: How is a judge like an English teacher?

A: They both hand out long sentences.

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Joke

Temperance sermon

A minister was completing a Temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in

the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all

the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the

river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said,

"And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take

it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced -

with a tiny smile, "For our closing song, Let us sing

Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River'

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Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?

A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.